NEED ADVICE...please help...ive had affairs on husband and i dont know what 2 do

okay so heres my story….I need advice… I havent told anyone because I am ashamed of everything I've done….so my husband and I have been together since I was 17…. Now I am 21… I was sooo in love with him… I am so confused to what happened to that love….I was overweight for a while that we were together… before our wedding I decided to loose weight… and I've lost 70 pounds and I look and feel great… but after I lost the weight I started getting plenty of attention from other guys… and I started liking it a whole lot… we have always had a very rocky relationship… 1 week after we were married we had sex with another couple together… we wanted to start swinging… but after that night I lost respect for our relationship… and I started talking to another man…. Husband found out and we have had trust issues ever since.. we decided not 2 swing because it caused a lot of problems…. When I was overweight he would get on myspace and talk to all of these girls sexually before we were married that I later found out… this made me think that he was 2 cheat on me… so I figured what the hell… when we were thinking of swinging we met this guy out at a bar… that I had an affair with… my husband said you want 2 have sex with this guy… I just want 2 watch… and that broke my heat so I decided fine… I will have sex with him and we did for 3 months… but husband found out and we stopped talking…. We also were raising his little brother 16 years old that caused a lot of tention in our relationship…. Now his brothers out the house… and I met another guy…. I really like this guy… and I want 2 leave my husband… but I am so afraid.. mainly because I cant picture my life without him… he once was my best friend… I felt he was the only person that truly knew me… now I am so lost… I felt my husband getting distant and I knew something was going on so I went through our computers history and he was talking to 30 girls on myspace…. I know that I probley deserve it… but I was truly hurt and… I just don’t know what to do… we have built a beautiful life together… a nice house… nice cars… and we are both successful… im scared that if I leave I will never have this again… but I keep f***ing up…. I don’t know what to do…. Anyone understand….have any advice??? Please… im scared to leave… and im scared what people would think... the only think keeping us together is the sex...omg its amazing!!! Gosh im so confused!!!NEED ADVICE...please help...ive had affairs on husband and i dont know what 2 do
You have a choice, either both of you commit to the marriage and get help, or get out and be single. Both of you need to grow up. It sounds like you both have issues and a lack of boundaries at this point. An ';open'; marriage rarely is successful and full of problems. Your young, you can build this life alone without this man. You have lots of time ahead of you.


Only you can decide if you want to continue in this ongoing drama you have with your husband.





Whatever you do, DON'T get pregnant at this point, your life is a mess and a child deserves parent who've got their act together.





Seek a counselor certified in marriage counseling. Find some weekend marriage retreats. Look into marriage sites for suggestions, real answers.





You know your choice.


Quit seeking out other men and third parties in your marriage and commit to each other. Seek help to build a stronger marriage.


Or


Get out, work on yourself and building a stronger self esteem where you are not constantly seeking validation from men. Divorce your husband and be single for awhile while you work on YOU.





NEED ADVICE...please help...ive had affairs on husband and i dont know what 2 do
Too long, too many ellipses, couldn't get through it all.
If you LOVE your husband...you would not cheat. Leave and tell him what you have done
So, you're staying for sex and ignoring your deepest needs to be valued and cherished by someone. Your husband may like you, but he doesn't cherish and value you. You are an object to him, and, somehow, you like (or, at least, accept) being an object. You also fear being alone. Maybe you need to see someone professional to figure out why you dislike your own company so much and why you have a need to run from one guy to the other instead of standing still a moment and facing yourself. Maybe if you did you'd find out that you're worth a lot more than you're actually allowing yourself right now. As for what other people will think of you - who cares, it's your life. People will always have opinions. As for leaving, think of it as giving you the space to really get yourself back on track in your life, because it seems you have traveled a long way from where you really want to be. Good luck x
Well it sounds like your the only one confused. Your husband does not mind you messing around, and you don't mind if he does. You have a lot of material goods between you and the sex is good. It doesn't seem like you have to leave him for this other guy. My question is why don't you try to make your relationship work at home instead of running off with other men. If he is willing to watch you do someone else, then you should be willing to watch him also. Seems really strange to me, sounds like your living in a dream world of free sex, plenty of money, and a nice house.
You really are one confused person. You will need to get some help on your own before you are able to figure out what else is going on in your life. Try some counseling from someone who will be understanding of your problem and start trying to work things out in your own mind.
Wow! That's some story. First you have to come clean, that will 1 show that you are aware and sorry for the antics and 2 that you want to change and you want your marriage. Now he's gonna totally shut down. Know this!! But you have to open the lines of communications. That fear you are harboring is keeping you from talking. You said you're afraid if you leave you'll never have what you've gained together...that's crazy. And who cares what other people think...and hun, sex isn't everything and its definitely not something to base a marriage on. In this whole story, love was only mentioned twice and it wasn't one of the things that you stated came from him. All that was material things....so what gives? Do you love him for who he is or what he gives? You said your relationship has always been rocky,..well its about to get worse, but you do have to let this man know what you've done and call him on the things you found on the computer and then you two can clear the air and see if this relationship is even worth saving. The key is communication and honesty